अंगड़ाई

 

रात भर की मस्ती याद है,

जाम याद है, साथी याद है,

बंद आँखों से  देखा सपना याद है,

सुबह सुबह का सिरदर्द याद है.

याद नहीं है तो सिर्फ़,

सोने से पहली भरी,

चैन की वो आखरी अंगड़ाई.   

 

टीयूशन में बिताए वो घंटे याद हैं, 

गणित की वो तीन मोटी किताबें याद हैं.  

सारी रात गटकी वो कॉफी याद है,

रिज़ल्ट आने पर बटी मिठाई याद है.  

याद नहीं है तो सिर्फ़,

इम्तिहान ख़त्म होने के बाद भरी,

चैन की वो आखरी अंगड़ाई.

 

मीटिंग में हुई वो बक-बक याद है,

प्रौफिट याद है, लौस याद है.

रात भर बैठ कर बनाई वो स्ट्रेटेजी याद है,

प्रेसेंटेशन के बाद मिली वाह-वाही याद है.

याद नहीं है तो सिर्फ़,

कम्प्यूटर बंद करने के बाद भरी,

चैन की वो आखरी अंगड़ाई.

मयखाना

शान-ए-महफ़िल, जान-ए-मयखाना,

अधूरी सी बोतल, नशे का ताना बाना.

ज़िन्दगी का जश्न, तन्हाई का अफसाना,

दास्तान-ए-इश्क़ में जलता, एक और परवाना.

प्याले खनके, जाम छलके, 

मदहोशी का आलम सुहाना.

बहके दिल, बहके कदम, गवाही देता,

दौर-बर-दौर, यह मयखाना.


Shaan-E-Mehfil, Jaan-E-Maykhaana,
Adhoori si botal, nashey ka taana baana.
Zindagi ka jashn, tanhaai ka afsaana,
Daastaan-E-Ishq mein jalta, ek aur parwaana.
Pyaale khankey, jaam chhalkey,
Maddhoshi ka aalam suhaana.
Behkey dil, behkey kadam, gawaahi deta,
Daur-bar-daur, yeh maykhaana.

बाल्टी भर अरमान

 

दिल निचोड़ा.

बाल्टी भर अरमान निकले. 

कुछ  भूले से, कुछ भुलाए से.

कुछ अपने से, कुछ पराये से.

कुछ  ताज़े से, कुछ पुराने से.

कुछ सौम्य से, कुछ बचकाने से.

कुछ अरमान, जो चुपचाप बूँद बूँद टपकते रहे,

कुछ अरमान, जो पूरे होने की चाहत में, बाल्टी से छलकते रहे.

कुछ  अरमान, जो पानी-सा रंगहीन थे,

कुछ अरमान, मटमैले, काले, रंगीन थे.

कुछ खोखले से अरमान, सतह पर तैरते रहे.

कुछ पत्थर से अरमान, तले को चूमते रहे.

लेकिन इस बीच, बाल्टी से एक आवाज़ आई.

देखा, तो कुछ बुलबुले दिखे.

मुर्दे से अरमानों के बीच, एक अरमान अब भी सांस ले रहा था.

Izzhaar 2

एक शाम उस कॉफी शॉप में,

घंटों तक उनके सामने बैठे रहे.

उनकी बातों को सुनते रहे,

कुछ बोलने से बचते रहे.

नज़रों से खुद को छुपाते रहे,

सफ़ेद कमीज़ को सौस से बचाते रहे.  

धड़कनों का शोर कहीं कानों तक न पहुँच जाए,

कम्बखत धड़कनों को सीने में दबाते रहे.

मन तो था बताने का उन्हें काफ़ी कुछ,

मगर इज़हार करने से डरते रहे.

हर कदम पर पाँव पिघलते रहे.

मोम का दिल लेकर देखो खामोशी से,

हम सूरज से इश्क करते रहे.

Liked? Maybe you would love to read Izzhaar 1 also :

http://streetsidetroubadour.blogspot.in/2011/11/izzhaar.html

Twisters 151 - 175

Shall we declare our relation public, she asks, they'll be happy. And, he asks. They'll be happy, she says. And, he asks. Chuck it, she says.

I've lost my heart to that lady, he says. Have you lost your mind, she asks, in disbelief. No, he says, I said heart. She's speechless.

If you ever visit a slaughterhouse, she says, you'll turn veggie. Don't know about that, he says, I once visited a temple. I turned atheist.

Years after the break up, she insisted on giving relationship another try. He refused. You ended it, he says. Can't let you end it again.

Will they accept me in this dress, she asks. Who cares, he says. And you, she asks. You care about that, he questions. She buys the dress.

Terrible pills, he says, I can do with some laughs. Well, she says, laughter is the best medicine. And they laugh. Till he chokes and dies.

Give me a word, and I'll write you a poem on it, he says. Love, she replies. Ah, I asked you to give me a word, not a poem itself, he says.

Why is Tim's house having a flag, asks Alice. His father was a brave man, says father. Aren't you brave, asks Alice, as he opens a beer can.

Sitting on a wheelchair, she dreams of football & salsa. Liked it, the mother asked. Yes, she said, as she got up. Perfect chair for granny.

I'm unpredictable, he says. Not at all, she says. Damn, he says and moves to kiss her. She kicks him in crotch. You're predictable, she says

The professor asked about mechanism of erection. Only she raised her hand. You know a lot miss, he teased. Too many dicks around, she said.

His depression is her inspiration. His failures, someone's warning. Everyday he prays, for he doesn't want his past to be someone's future.

You are my world, she says. World is cruel, he says. Always been this pessimist, she asks. Don't play the half glass game with me, he says.

Boss said I'm incompetent & lazy, he says, dejected. Didn't he say you are a coward, she asks. He can see her, rubbing salt, on the chicken.

Always there for you, he says. You are in a different country, she says. Well, he says, that's how they say. In movies, she asks. He gulps.

Someday, I'll be able to hug this smoke coming out of my lungs. Till then, let me gaze at those clouds. Forming, deforming, forming again.

She left the mystery book without an end. The readers kept guessing. None closer to what was in her mind. In the end, she became the mystery

The man who found her in dumps. The man who brought her from obscurity to the world of glamor, she no more finds him worthy of her standards

In his eyes, she could see the world. A world without her. Who says there is no romance in the final goodbye?

He ain't complaining. He only taught her how to achieve success. She broke off the deal before he could teach her about failure. He smiles.

He opened his workplan. Falling in love wasn't a part of his agenda this month. Dammit, he slammed his desk hard. He is lagging behind now.

Rogues all around, he rolled down his shirt's sleeve. His arm had his mother's name tattooed. He didn't want his mother to see him fighting.

How about a make up sex, he asks. They proceed towards vanity van. He gets undressed. She goes inside the make up room. He knew she was dumb

Turn on the radio, he said. Dedicated a song to you. Not now, she said, I'm sleeping. That night, the city heard the most romantic song ever

Twisters 126 - 150

Born with a hole in the heart, she spent her life looking for that perfect ring for it. Sadly, the world was clueless about heart piercing.

He hugged her tight. He could see her face gone red. A sound of bone cracking. She gasping for breath. He was squeezing the best out of her.

The white tiles in the washroom have gone yellow, she says. They are yellow only, he says. Oh, she mumbles, hiding a scrub pad in a corner.

How do I look, she asked. Gorgeous, he said, as always. You're mad, she said. For you, he replied. Pause. He should've avoided cliches.

I've no hope left, he mumbles, wandering alone in his empty house. Hungry, he checks the refrigerator. Fuck, he shouts, I've no bacon left!

He lit another cigarette. Since when did you start smoking, she asked. Since when did you start taking interest in me, he asked.

She got everything she loved tattooed on her. He kept searching for his name. It's inside me, she said. He unbuttoned her. Liar, he said.

They undressed. She saw a scar on his thigh. Vietnamese torture, he said, Army. He saw a scar on her thigh. Iron chain, she said, sex slave.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, she says, scratching ass, throwing the puzzle book away. Guess you already are at the bottom, he says.

The magician plays tricks for his li'l daughter. She is delighted. He tells her the secret. She's crying now. His wife's smirk is visible.

Have I lost you, forever, he asked, watching his wife pack the bags. Damn! I've lost my comb, she said. Ignored, he has lost all hopes now.

Why are you smiling, he asks. Your Superman tie is cute, she says. It ain't cute, he says. He is Man of Steel! She ain't meeting him again.

You saw that bitch, he said to his dog. She has been sleeping with other men! Bitch! The dog quietly retired in his room. He was confused.

She entered the room in a satin dress. He sensed a hint there. This was his night. He spilled mustard on her. It wasn't his night anymore.

You get the kids, I get the sofa, he says. That's my sofa, she says. Well, those are my kids also, he says. Take them, she says. He shrugs.

Tears in eyes, she wrote the name of her ex on sand. Waves erased it. She wrote again. The waves erased it again. She returned home smiling.

The kid wanders in the streets, selling heart shaped balloons to the modern people of the urbania. Such heartless people they are, he says.

Why acting serious, she asks. If I crack jokes, I'm afraid you'll fall for me, he says. Won't happen, she says. Your jokes suck anyway.

Frankly honey, he says, we lost the road an hour ago. Why didn't you ask for directions, she asks. No one knows the way to nowhere, he says.

No nail clippers. Can be a potential weapon, the airport staff said. Well, he says, how about a big sharp toe nail across someone's throat?

Something illegal in the bag, she says. What, he asks. You don't know, she says. Why would it be there then, he says. Later, they made love.

Leaving a long trail of love on his back with nails, she asks, What's this, feeling a scar. He smiles. A friend loved me a li'l too much.

Nothing beats a lady in white, he said. What, she exclaimed. Why would anyone beat a lady otherwise? He still can't believe he proposed her.

I want to know you more, she says. He unzips his pants. I mean your profession, she says. Oh. I'm a doctor, he says. Can we have sex now?

So, is it over, he asks. When did it ever start, she said, adjusting her bra. Shall I order pizza, he asks. No tomatoes for me, she says.

Door slammed open, they entered the room. A li'l kohl here, a little lipstick there. The creasless white sheets never looked this inviting.

Twisters 101 - 125

He learns a guitar tune for her. You're pathetic, she says with a smile. He's blushing. Their eyes meet. Next time, try violin, she says.

She painted dreams, with melodies from the harp. He sculpted realities, with his weeping guitar. Together, they wrote the symphony of life.

The handcuffs remained. Only the people around him changed. From the exotic hooker, to the police officer, to the doctor in mental asylum.

If I were to murder someone, will you alert the cops, he asks. Of course, she says. But you know me, he says. I thought I knew you, she says

She remembered him saying, the day he got letter from the army, "Don't worry. The story is just beginning." She now sobs over his dead body.

He painted his girl's face. Everyone said it reminded them of their girl. He smiled. Then they all took the same name. He was shattered.

You should meet my boyfriend. I think you'll like him, she said. I will, he said. Days later, she is devastated. She got dumped for him.

She wore the new nightgown. Adjusted her pillow. It was the end of her nightmares. And then, she gulped down a handful of sleeping pills.

Everytime I see you, I get moist, she said. He smiled. They both were happy. She was talking about her eyes. He was thinking something else.

Girls want nothing else, but honesty, she said. To be honest with you, he said, I love you, and I don't have money. He never heard from her.

I love Chinese ladies, he says. Isn't it being racist, she asks. If I love the race, how can that be racism, he says. She ain't laughing.

The bartender was sent to jail. He murdered him. All these months, he used to frequent his bar, alone. He came with a girl yesterday.

Dunno what's orgasmic, he says, the coffee, or watching you make that coffee? You are sick, she says. Must be the coffee then, he says.

They say it's a haunted hut. The kids heard a loud thud, and a scream "Oh God!". There's a ghost, he said. No, ghosts don't swear, she said.

The machine at the entrance kept beeping. I got some iron rich blood, he joked. No one laughed. Time for a rectal check sir, the guard said.

They are lurking into abyss. It's too dark, he says. No, I can see things, she says, I can hear things. Forgot your medicines again, he asks

He bends backward to dodge the bullet. He had seen that in movies. He now suffers from broken spine. Paralysed. Movies didn't tell him this.

He wanted to breakup with her. She was in the kitchen. I think it's not working between us, he said. Then he saw the knives rack near her.

My pants are on fire, he says, intending to rape her. She aims a fire extinguisher at his crotch. Bam! That will cool it down, she says.

He spilled the orange crush on her. You got a real crush on me, she joked. They laughed till he touched her boobs to wipe off that crush.

She was in a mental asylum. This is the most horrible thing I've done to my date, he says. Well, not worse than the girl who turned lesbian.

While making out, I suddenly realized the pending presentation. I started dressing. What happened, she asked. Saw the Bat signal, I said.

You give me the sleeping pills, I give you the kisses, he says. She gives him the pills. And some more. She ain't waiting for the kisses.

He was man of ideals. Illegal cable wasn't his kind of thing. I offer you two porn channels free, the cableguy said. He instantly agreed.

More than the humiliation of losing, more than jealousy of watching her win, it was the grief that killed him, for his efforts went in vain.

Twisters 76-100

They killed everyone on their way. There was a victory celebration. Those, who won. And those, who were freed from the chains of existence.

She danced in the snow. The snow that happened last year. It's all gone. Turned water. Into the ocean. The waves are dancing to her tunes.

Love. Always overestimated. Neither she asked him, nor did he tell her. Years went by. Times changed. And love remained a hapless creature.

Can you tell me the directions to Taj, he asks. Sure, she says, I'll drop you there. Ten minute ride. He still can't get over her fragrance.

The dog kept barking. It's a mad dog, he says. Call the vets. They put him down with a shot. Madness was everywhere. Only the dog showed it.

Honey, I'm over here, he says on the phone. Just walk in the direction of your boobs. She went down. Next day, he bought her a wonderbra.

Nothing that music can't mend, he says. Court has granted me custody of son, she says. Another addition to the list 'things music can't mend'.

"Let's set this straight", he says. "You love me. I love you. We both love lying." Let's build our own castle of lies then, she says.

The cut on his face is looked upon as the mark of masculinity by the audience. They don't know he got it from a saucer his girl threw at him.

She fell for him, his body, his tuxedo and the shiny leather shoes. Indressing him was quite a pleasure. Until she saw his Star Wars boxers.

I don't give a fuck to what you say, he said. Eyes glued on the TV, she kept sipping the wine. She wasn't giving a fuck to what he was saying.

I love you, he says. I love you too, she replies. After a minute of awkward silence, he says, just kidding. I know, me too, she says.

Bungee jumping is how he wanted to impress her. The girl was impressed. The crowd saw him wet his pants. But he is a happy soul tonight.

She tried a two piece swimsuit. You look better in a one-piece suit, he says. She removes her bra. He smiles. They make love all day long.

Year after the breakup, they decide to connect with each other again. I'm getting married, she texts. She's still waiting for a reply.

The sex was good. The only time in the day when they talked to each other. He resumed work on the laptop. She switched on the TV. Happy couple.

Everyone makes mistakes. So did she. Must forgive her, he thought. I forgive you, she said. Bitch, he shouted, you're the one who made mistake!

Living in the world of lies, she mustered courage to come out with the truth. They laughed at her. She seeks asylum in the fake society now.

He came home, irritated. He's never been like this. Beer's not cold, he mumbled, and crashed on sofa. The dog is afraid to come near him.

Everything irritates him. The dog's wagging tail, the noise of a sitcom, the nagging colleague. I love you, she said. So?, he replied.

They churned out sad songs. The fans, they cried in admiration. The band members, they laughed their asses off seeing such misery.

He smoked. Smoked. Kept smoking till he coughed his lungs out. He smiled. He never felt better before. He'll do anything to feel alive.

She wanted to surprize him by giving him a lap dance. She pulled a chair. I'll prefer sofa, he said. Spent the night alone watching soccer.

He tried the tandoori chicken flavored condom for his non vegetarian girl. "I don't like boneless chicken" was her reply. He was shattered.

He woke up. There was a red lipstick mark on his cheek. "Make-up, even in night!" He saw the same stains on bedsheet. Now he was furious.

Twisters 51 - 75

Divorce papers were completed. She remembered his last words. "Make me a sandwich". He is alone in his house. With a toaster she gifted him.

Of all the possessions he got after that divorce, he hated his bitch the most. Reminded him of her. He smiled. He acquired a shotgun also.

He decided to take the road less traveled. "That's gonna be a bumpy ride mate" his friends told him. He found no traffic. He won the race.

Tired of her SMS language, he advised her to atleast use a full stop after finishing a sentence. She used a full stop. On the relationship.

She was standing in her wonderbra. He was staring in her eyes. Something wasn't right "You forgot the mascara". Her bra wasn't helping her.

There was silence. Between both of them, their world was falling apart. "Thud", that was the only sound they heard. Sound of breaking heart.

The kid lost grip on the balloon. The balloon flew high, fighting the winds, landed in the ocean, giving waves hard time. The kid's crying.

Last night's wife swapping left everyone happy. His wife was fucking a rich goon. He found a lady who could discuss astrophysics over chess.

Alone in house, he misses shouting "Make me a sandwich!" Looking at the toaster, he thinks of himself lucky. But she took away the cord.

"Who the hell kept the cigarettes upside down?" he shouted. She could sense the anger on his face. Her arm was ready for more burn marks.

"Do I look good in this?" she asked from trial room. Yes, he replied, while on his phone. The other guy nodded. She went inside, smiling.

Bring out the new cutlery, he said. But it might break, she said. "It'll break otherwise also". *crash*. He wasn't getting any sex tonight.

His girl introduced him to poker. Watching her getting friendly with the stranger, he couldn't keep his poker face. He lost. "I hate poker".

His gay partner had found a new love interest. He knew making a song on this would bring only shame. He cursed the society for defining love

A shower with him was the gift she planned for his b'day. He couldn't stop himself from peeing in the shower. Now he's eating the cake alone

She tried a lot to achieve that Coke-bottle body. Months of gyming, but no results. Depressed, she gave up. She now has a VAT69 bottle body.

The drunkard was teasing his girl. Being a Rocky fan, he gave drunkard a punch. He is at home, with a swollen eye, his girl laughing at him.

Being the only lady in the office, her biggest fear is getting stuck with elderly colleageus in the elevator. She knows she deserves better.

His girl saw him scanning the lady. What are you doing, she asked. Checking her pendant. Fake, he said. She was relieved. He was Clark Kent.

After days of auditions, he finally gets a role. A one scene appearance. He plays a wannabe actor, who fails the audition. He is happy.

Being unique is his identity. He Never follows the masses. He reaches home to see her wearing jeggings. Not you honey, not you too, he says.

Sleep plays hide & seek with him. The creaking noise of fan. Dogs howling in the street. The sound of the chimes. They give him company.

The only dreams he believed in were the one he saw with eyes wide open. Until he banged his car one day. All he sees now are nightmares.

Money was in plenty. He could buy hundreds of those diamond rings for those girls. He could even buy those girls. He smiled at the thought.

He kept staring at her. You remind me of my girl, was the last thing he wanted to say. What, she asked. You remind me of my girl, he said.

Twisters 26 - 50

He looks at his watch. Two O'clock. Why am I not sleepy, he mumbles. He has to get up early. I don't like the concept of time, he said.

The bar played a song. They both used to sing this together. Been 3 years, the song's not off the charts. He couldn't finish the drink.

She made him steak. From behind her, he whispered, you looking gorgeous. She took it as a sign. Removed her shirt. He gobbled up the steak.

He refused to eat the pie she made. Too bland, he said. She turned down the wine he got. Too cheap for my tastes, she said. They made love.

His book is still kept among the bestsellers. He can see people waiting in queue for that. He smiles. His breakup is getting him money now.

Once, an apple of eye, she turned into a lemon. Squirting the sour juice of jealousy in his eyes. I once loved her, he thought. Not anymore.

I don't look good in this", she said. "You look gorgeous, as always", he said. She was happy. His love had replaced her anti depressants.

He took a bite. The burger was stale. He saw a beggar. "Nah! I'll rather give it to those starving Africans." On the way, he ate it all.

Everytime she clicked a poor man in torn clothes, the old man smiled for the camera. The photgrapher won accolades. The old man, his bidi.

The burnt part of steak was always fed by him to his dog. It was a ritual. Every night, the dog writes in his blog, "Asshole burnt it again"

No missed call. No mail either. The door bell didn't ring the whole day. He looked at his dog. "Looks like, it's you & me again for dinner"

The kid had his eyes on a small car. He wanted his dad to buy that. The rich dad bought a Phantom. Kid still has his eyes on that cheap car.

He got her a bouquet of flowers. She threw them out of the window. A kid picked them up. 50 flowers, for 50 girls, he thought, smiling.

He had this fantasy of trying girls' clothes. Got a chance one day. Came out traumatised. Her bra fit him properly. He signed up for gym.

The money bought him the bouquet, not the acceptance from her. The flowers are still there, in a gold vase, mocking the poor rich.

All he needed was a pen, a diary, and the memories of their past. With every word, every tear, someone was making money.

She picked the bestseller from the stand. Halfway through the book, the story sounded familiar. She won't need to read any further now.

Falling in love with his muse for the novel, was his biggest mistake. Little did he know, she was writing her own story. He was the muse now

Among the many words that made some sense to him, he found a page full of gibberish words. He knew, his glass was empty, and needed a refill

With every sip of scotch, the words made more meaning to him. But it was a love story. Dark. Bitter. He knew he should have chosen a beer.

He looks at the photo she posted, with her new partner. "Still strikes the same pose", he said. And then he sees the guy's hand on her waist

He broke the glass in his hand. There was scotch on the floor. There was blood too. And some glass pieces, shining in glory, bright red.

In the middle of the night, he wakes up. He wakes up again and again, every night. "Why can't they invent a log out button for memories?"

His book had an incomplete ending. Readers were trying to figure out the possible end. The torn page from the manuscript was in his pocket.

The fat cat was being hunted, for she spilled the milk. "They think they can kill me!", she said, while feasting on those poisoned rats.